Every time I see a photo of myself, I am consistently reminded of how very ROUND I am. Like a giant beach ball with legs. Or Violet Blueberry from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
As though if I didn’t have legs, I would roll around or need to be tethered to something to keep me from floating away.
I am not discouraged by this, mind you. When I look at pictures of myself, I don’t cringe and think, “Oh God, I look so fat. I look so ugly. I look so horrible. I need to lose 10 pounds/20 pounds/50 pounds. I need to do something with my hair. I need to wear better makeup. I need to wear better clothes. I need to never go out. I need to never let someone take my picture.”
No, when I look at pictures of myself, I simply think, “Wow. I’m round.”
Hips. Thighs. Belly. Breasts. Head.
Round and wide.
And when I’m standing next to someone, they look so very un-round compared to me.
Does that make me wish to be un-round, too?
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the definition of round is:
: well filled out: plump, shapely : complete, full : direct in utterance: brought to completion or perfection : presented with life-like fullness or vividness :
Conversely, antonyms of round include: inadequate, small, low, weak, haggard, waspish.
It is true that I carry a lot of weight around. And it is true that my short legs don’t quite keep up with others. But neither of those aspects prevent me from being active or enjoying life. And I would much prefer to see photos of myself next to the un-rounds, than to be left with no visual documentation of my activities and achievements at all.
This is me:
Vivid, full, direct, complete.
2 responses to “The Roundness of Things”
truly a beautiful writing. so honest and unashamed. And why wouldnt it be so?
Heartfelt..I was moved.
Your picture? Wow. Beautiful. If only wishes really came true….WM
Don’t forget beautiful. I am glad you’re so comfortable being you. You are truly a beauty.